I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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