This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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