You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
