If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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