5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
