i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
