someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
