i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
