So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
