Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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