oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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