my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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