Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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