Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
