I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
