Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Bring me that man meat
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
