Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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