YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
