whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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