He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
