ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
