you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
