OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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