i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
