used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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