I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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