i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
