I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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