Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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