I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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