he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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