Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
