Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Pants are for mortals
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
