It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
