i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
