You're completely useless in the revolution.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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