just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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