My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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