I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Randomize
