Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
