i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
