Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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