I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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