I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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