...so i touched it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
What a dumb baby whore.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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