sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm always down for nudity.
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