What did we do last night that was yellow?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
