Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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