You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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