Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
